If you're looking at the ducks you want to get in a row in 2018 and are already starting to stress over them (or over the 2017 ducks you're still trying to wrangle), we've got a tip for you: Disorganized ducks can be a good thing. Lindsey Granger sat down with Your Messy Brilliance author, Kelly McNelis, to find out how embracing the messiness in your life can propel you to becoming the person you want to be and how you don't have to be perfect to do what's best for you.
1. Perfection is A Myth
We've all heard the phrase "No one's perfect", but sometimes, when you look at other peoples' lives you might think, "Well, they seem to have a pretty perfect life to me..." But, Kelly says, you've got to remember: Perfection doesn't exist. The more you try to do "the perfect" - get the "perfect" style, the "perfect" job, or the "perfect" home, the more you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead of comparing your goals to the "perfect" ideal, compare your goals to you.
If you want to feel more stylish, don't do what magazines tell you to do. Think about what makes you feel the best and find/wear them more often. If you want to feel like you have the "perfect" job, figure out what you didn't like about your last few jobs, think about what your true passions are; then look for something that checks off your boxes. Instead of drawing your "perfection" inspiration from others, draw it from yourself. Think about your improvement in the future as a new version of you, and not as the copy of someone else you think is "perfect".
2. Accept Your Flaws
Kelly also says that before you dive into your new goals for the new year, your first step to improvement is improving your self talk. As much as we want to succeed, sometimes the voice in our head that has a few doubts can take over, making us give up before we even try anything new.
When you find yourself saying something that's particularly negative, say out loud "That wasn't a nice thing to say..." It might seem silly at first, but once you get in the habit of calling out your negative comments, you'll avoid them more often, making more room for you to take inventory of your life without judgment. Instead of beating yourself up for past experiences, like that doubtful little voice might want to do, you'll be able to say, "Those were choices and decisions I made that didn't turn out how I wanted them. What can I do, now, to make better decisions going forward".
3. Share Your Story
Everyone has a story, and every single one is important. You don't have to be a "perfect" person or a celebrity to make an impact on others with your experiences. Kelly says that if you hold on to all of the messy things in life that could be holding you down, you're carrying the weight of them alone, which leaves more room in your head for second guessing yourself.
So, talk to someone about the messiness you might be experiencing. Tell a friend while you're out for drinks or text a loved one about what you're working on for yourself. Give someone else the chance to tell you how they've felt the same way and how they were able to figure out their own messy brilliance, and how you can too. Together, you can reach your ideal "messy" self and discover the person in you that's been waiting to come out, and light the way for others with messes they want to find brilliance in, too.
Want more tips on how you can reach your goals by becoming your best, imperfect self? Pick up Kelly's book Your Messy Brilliance here and get ready to be the realest you you've ever been.
What's your advice for achieving your goals and improving your self-confidence? Share your uplifting tips with us on our Facebook page, @TheListShowTV.