Scripps News Life


Hidden Valley Is Selling A Holiday Stocking Filled With 52 Ounces Of Ranch Dressing

Hidden Valley Is Selling A Holiday Stocking Filled With 52 Ounces Of Ranch Dressing
Posted at 12:28 PM, Nov 15, 2019

Ah, the sights and smells of the winter holidays.

The fresh, green scent of a Christmas tree. Velvety, steamy-hot cocoa. Dancing candlelight amid the spicy perfume of cinnamon, clove and nutmeg. On the mantel, hung with care, a holiday-printed plastic sock, bulging with ranch dressing.

It’s a holiday miracle! You can now purchase a gigantic, 52-ounce Christmas stocking filled with the beloved condiment, direct from the fine folks at Hidden Valley Ranch. There’s even a handy spout at the toe of the stocking, so you can drench your party snacks in dressing directly from the source.

Let’s get a look, shall we?

Hidden Valley

“It’s a stocking filled with ranch,” reads the product description. “Enough said.”

I think I’m getting choked up. Look at that gorgeous pizza detailing!

I can’t think of a better gift for the ranch-lovers in your life. At $35, it’s reasonably priced as well. It even comes with a handsome silver holder for proud placement above the fireplace. You can pre-order it now from the Hidden Valley Ranch Shop (yes, you heard that right).

If the idea of a squishy, unrefrigerated sack o’ ranch doesn’t appeal, Hidden Valley has loads of other gift ideas. And many of them can dispense ranch!

Dig, if you will, this Ranch Flask:

Hidden Valley

For a mere $15, you can “take a nip of the good stuff whenever you need it,” according to the product description.

There’s also this charming ranch-themed reusable water bottle, which you theoretically could also use to transport a large amount of ranch:


Hidden Valley

It’s $15, but sadly out of stock at the moment, as is the flask. You can join a waitlist, though! Imagine the looks on people’s faces when you take a slug off this bad boy.

I typically don’t have a lot of trouble locating a ranch dressing source when I’m dining, so I’m more attracted to the ranch-themed clothing and accessories on the site. This rad T-shirt with the old-school HVR logo caught my eye in particular:

Hidden Valley

It’s only $20 — but also out of stock. Santa, are you listening?

For the full selection of ranch-themed apparel and accessories — perfect for stuffing those (non-ranch-filled) stockings — visit the Hidden Valley Ranch Shop here. Cross some names off your holiday shopping list!

This story originally appeared on Simplemost. Checkout Simplemost for additional stories.