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The Pohlite Blog

Fireworks - A Rant

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At one point, the 4th of July became the birthday of national holidays, which I guess makes sense if it's our nation's birthday. But what I mean is now we celebrate it before and beyond its designated date.

And one of the wonderful, whimsical components on the 4th of July - the fireworks - has now become its biggest drawback. Sure, they are these magical pinwheels of light in the sky, but they are also a pain in the butt.

Why?

Well for one, they're only good if it's completely dark outside. And do you know when it gets completely dark in the beginning of July in Michigan? Around 10:00PM. At that point, this girl is cashing in. It's practically bed time. Good luck getting me through an hour long 10:00PM drama. But that's when the fireworks come out.

And they aren't all pretty either. There are absolutely pushy, cannon-like booms that some might find are timeless and a nod to our past, but they are awful. Ask any jumpy person or someone who owns a jumpy animal. They are pure torture devices. Even some of my favorite fireworks - the golden sprays of light that look like weeping willows - are super loud at times.

Not to mention, try sitting outside to watch fireworks in the middle of the summer in Michigan. You'd hopefully be near a lake because that's the Pure Michigan way. Well guess what else likes to hang out at night in the middle of the summer near a lake? Mosquitoes. These little terrors treat sunburnt ankles and exposed skin like sweet, sweaty bait.

In the last couple of years, the fireworks are at the bottom of the list for me in terms of most anticipated or most exciting parts of the 4th. Maybe it's because there are fireworks after weekend baseball games, maybe it's because Disney World has made most other fireworks displays obsolete.

But lately for me, the 4th is about a day off of work, lazing around in the 90+ degree haze of July, gulping down water and splashing in the lake, and eating plenty of corn on the cob.

Call me a 4th of July Grinch, but I like to keep it simple, safe, and quietly wonderful.

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